Monday, July 31, 2006

he's okay and all.. pero we just don't click.. you know?

i need a new roommate.. help!

Sunday, July 30, 2006

my hairstyle needs a change.. the glasses have got to go.. new wardrobe is necessary..

and i will accomplish this pag nag-work na ako.. after starbucks, convergys naman..

all these just to look better.. *sighs*

i know i'm not photogenic.. pero pati ba naman video-genic?

kahit webcam-genic man lang sana.. tsk..

Thursday, July 27, 2006

the first quiz of the term, and i screw it up.. big time.. and to think madali na yung exam, a..

bakit ba kasi ginamit ko ang 2-pi-omega-f imbes na j-omega-f, at ang 1/(2-pi-omega-C) imbes na 1/(j-omega-C).. argh!

5 days of reviewing just went down the drain.. shitness.. *frowns*

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

things i did in the past few days:

• visited my bro in España, kasi ala na akong pera.. hehe.. ^__^
• attempted to fix Tin's laptop's DVD-R problem, but to no avail..
• bought a lot of chips in 7-11.. at nagda-diet na ako sa lagay na ito..
• browsed though all my mp3 cds and saved my faves in my hard drive..
• rewrote my notes in Circuits 2, Tronix 1, Numericals, and Mechanics..
• compiled lots of playlists, including dance, trance, OPM, nostalgia, RnB, and Disney..
• went to NSO to get a copy of my lolo's Death Cert, only to find out they're closed due to the typhoon..

sana bukas makapag-review na ako sa Circuits quiz namin.. ilang beses nang na-postpone e..

four fucking days with nothing matino to do brought a whole new definition to boredom.. *sigh*

Thursday, July 20, 2006

i miss watching TV.. *kunot noo*

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

i can't believe i kept things to myself while you went on a rampage..

others ask why we're not talking.. i just tell them that you haven't exactly been that good a friend to me.. that you did things friends never do to each other.. that i wouldn't be the one to initiate peace talks.. that, in that rare occasion, i'm not going to swallow my pride just to ease the tension between us.. hell, i'm the one aggravated here, i shouldn't be the one to do something..

they, they don't even have to bother ask you.. you go on a dissing spree, broadcasting nasty things about me and making very grave accusations.. you formed alliances with people who didn't like me that much, and united to form a propaganda against me.. you defamed my name on everythin you get your grimy little hands on.. your friendster profile, your shoutout.. hell, even the logbook wasn't spared! you brought the argument to a whole new level..

yan ang specialty mo, e.. ang paninira ng tao.. you did it to me once before.. why should this case be any different?

i'm dissapointed at you.. i'm god-damned pissed at you.. i'm fuckin' furious at you!

you want the juice? i'll give you the juice!

pagkatapos mong magsumbong kay Raine, she texted me all these messages that shook me to the core.. what the hell did he tell her to get her this infuriated? i couldn't believe you managed to convince her that i didn't want to turn over the laptop to you.. it broke me down to tears.. it left me devastated..

but, didn't you ever wonder why she was keen on bringing us to speaking terms again? because i told her the truth, the things you refuse to believe.. and, guess what: she listened.. that's why she understood me, that's what sets you two apart..

eto pa: di ba dapat mag-e-LOA ako? tinanong ako ni Raine kung kelan daw ako magpapa-cancel ng enrolment.. ibibigay daw niya sa isang kakilala niya.. alam kong sa iyo niya ibibigay yun.. naintindihan ko.. ayos lang sa akin.. pero alam niyo kung ano ang tanging nakasakit sa akin?

natatandaan ko pa yung moment na yun, e.. nasa klase tayo.. tapos tinanong niya ulit ako kung kelan ko na daw ipapa-cancel.. sabi ko sa susunod na araw.. tapos dinugtungan ko: "pero itra-try kong ma-convince si mama na wag na akong mag-LOA.." tapos nakita ko yung reactions niyo, na dismayado kayo't naiinis.. hanggang ngayon, hinihiling ko na sana hindi ko nalang narinig yung sinabi ni Raine pagkalingon ko: "tang'ina naman o.."

hindi niyo lang alam kung gaano kasakit nun para sa akin.. hindi niyo lang alam kung gaano kasama ng pakiramdam ko sa mga ginagawa niyo sakin.. hindi niyo lang alam kung paano ako unti-unting pinapatay ng mga nangyayaring ito..

hindi lang ako pumapalag.. hindi lang ako gumaganti... hindi lang ako nagsasalita.. kasi alam kong hindi tama na gawin ko yun.. ayokong gawin sa iba ang ginawa mo sakin..

i just don't know if you guys realize how much effort i've put into this..

i just don't know if you'll ever realize that..

ako na nga itong dehado, ako pa itong ginagago. tanginang buhay naman ito, o.

Saturday, July 15, 2006

it saddens me that you have to resort to name-dropping and paninira just to quench your thirst for revenge.. and not just a shallow, sarcastic melancholy.. as in deep, heartbreaking, parang walang pinagsamahan-state of depression..

they were right, ignorance is bliss nga pala talaga.. i'd rather not know, kasi when i found out, i realized na masakit pala na mamulat sa katotohanan na bumababa na pala ang respeto mo sa isang taong minsa'y naging malapit sa iyo..

and you know what hurts me more? it's the sad realization that someone who has a reputation of being wise and critical is willing to sacrifice her credibilty by allowing herself to be blinded by their friendship..

if this 'petty fight' will divide the barkada, then i'd rather leave the group.. i'd hate to see things end up that way..

i'll leave for the barkada, yet i still won't sacrifice my pride..

Thursday, July 13, 2006

if you found out something, something someone didn’t want you to know about them, would you tell them?

That depends. Is that person someone you care about?

Yeah.

And does keeping the secret hurt anyone?

No.

Then my answer is no. If I really cared about that person, I wouldn’t tell them that I knew. But I would go out of my way to be supportive of them so that hopefully, one day, they would be comfortable enough to tell me themselves.

I’ve learned the hard way that people keep secrets for a reason, even from the people they’re closest to.

I’m sure whoever it is that you’re talking about will tell you when they’re ready.

---

It must’ve been so hard being so different, having everyone judge you before they even know you, knowing that there’s some people that might never accept you.

I just... I want you to know that I’m here for you... if you ever need to talk.

Thanks. I appreciate that.

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

i know you are talking behind my back.. i just laughed when you tried to retaliate/defend yourself when you said that you're not the only ones talking.. heck, nobody even needs to say anything.. i can figure that out by myself.. it's pretty obvious, anyway..

i don't care what they think of me.. screw them! who are they to judge me, anyway? but, just a reality check: what sets you guys apart from them is the fact that you are what i thought to be my friends..

i dunno about you, but in my world, friends don't stab each other's backs.. they tell each other, in a nice way, of their mistakes, but never talk behind their back.. never..

so if you manage to read this, at least you now know why i'm pretty short with you lately.. i just can't believe that a person i considered a very good friend would do such a thing.. *shakes head*

---

pardon me for the sudden mood swing, pero i'm soooo freakin' happy right now! pano ba naman kasi, i managed to convince my mom to change her mind.. so that means i'm not going to file for an LOA! w000000t!

at least those numerous counts of pleading and begging finally paid off! hehehe..

---

excuse me, but i just couldn't pass this up: ha! that means you must be pretty pissed off right now.. you just practically wasted all your time doing him favors, and all that went down the drain, just like that.. the next time you see me, deep inside i'm snickering at your defeat.. *insert pheobe & joey's evil plan laugh here*

Monday, July 10, 2006

day four on the alien dorm..

i feel like an outcast here.. la pa akong kilala, la pa akong nakaka-usap.. heck, i'm stuck in my room all day watching movies.. taena, lang magawa..

although everything in the new dorm seems bad, it does have its perks..

for starters, we don't have a curfew.. not that i come home late.. sarap lang nung pakiramdam na pwede akong umuwi anytime i want to..

also, it is only now i realized how beautiful intramuros really is.. only made me crave for a digicam more..

the view from the dorm roofdeck and from the baluarte is soooo romantic.. if only i have someone to share that moment with..

*sighs*

Friday, July 07, 2006

finally transferred to my new dorm.. not that i want to..

ugh, the toilet and shower here sucks.. help me!

---

got this message from my mom this morning:

kung titigil k ngayun how much ang marerefund m? kc nagemail t2 jr at ang sabi nya mas maganda na pagdating s usa ay magwork k ng related s coureses n at s gabi magaral at magmaster dun. kahit ano ganda daw ng mapua ay di daw kilala. TOEFL ang need para maka enrol. mas ok kuha k ng web dsgn courses, c, c++, java o any popular languages kc in dmand daw ang programing at networking skills

i was like, WTF?!

dati ko nang kino-convince si mama na magtrabaho nalang, kasi wala din lang namang macre-credit sa US na units, pati parang nagsasayang lang kami ng pera kung mag-aaral pa ako.. at kung kailan naman naka-set na ang utak ko sa pag-aaral, sabay sasabihin sakin na kumuha nalang ako ng short courses o magtrabaho?

labo naman, o.. *scratches head*

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

lo and behold, the schedule that will slowly kill me in the next three months..

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

ayan.. i already gave my downpayment for the slot in the new dorm.. nope, there's no turning back now..

i'm gonna miss Madrigal.. i've made a lot of friends there, e.. i just hope that i blend with the Walled City crowd..

---

just received a testimonial from blanca.. now, i don't normally go around telling people that, but this particular one intrigues me..


since when did i start giving people the impression that i'm a metrosexual? although i try to be as presentable and as clean as i can, i haven't even thought of crossing the clean and vain guy-metrosexual boundary.. pati maarte? *scratches head*

for those of you wondering, yes, that is britney in the background.. hehe.. ^__^

---

call me selfish and all, pero there's a teeny tiny part in me that hates the fact that Pacquiao won the match last sunday..

for the love of christ, his victory will result to the inflation of his advertisement offers, and that he'll be inescapable! imagine, everywhere you turn you'll see him and his wife, endorsing some product they don't even use.. ugh, just thinking about it makes me sick to the stomach.. *pukes*

and you thought you were the only one watching..